As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
