sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
