I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
