I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
