Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Randomize
