We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
