morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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