would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
