I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
