She announced her abortion via fbk
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
