Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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