Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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