I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
