I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize