chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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