My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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