how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize