Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
