The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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