Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize