I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
