U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
