Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
