I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
