Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
