do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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