woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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