what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
