I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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