i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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