i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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