Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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