is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize