im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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