can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
