we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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