I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize