I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
