Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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