If that was your dad, he is hot
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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