No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
