He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
