Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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