Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
