I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
