when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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