My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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