I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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