he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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