your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
