People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
