i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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