I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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