we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
