As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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