It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize