Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
