You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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