Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
