I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
