a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
