I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
