Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
