Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
