the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You're completely useless in the revolution.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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