HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
