well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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